Blaze of My Heart

Stained Armour

2010-11-10T20:47:00.000+08:00

"Lo and behold!",
The knight of the Dark hollered,
And all the king's men cowered,
As they watched the Light devoured,
by the black, eerie Darkness.

"Bring forth your spirit and strength!",
Upon this night,
the feared Knights of Dark,
and their silver blades,
this town be bathed in red.

"History shall right itself once again!",
When only Darkness stood,
and Light now a memory,
the king's men dead,
the Dark's knights rejoiced.

"Bow down before our new king!",
Heads kissed the ground,
which Darkness walked upon,
as the king reigned,
a new era is formed.

Come Home Alive, Darling

2010-06-26T21:32:00.001+08:00

There's no warmth in this house,
Where has my love gone?

Darling, I'm just sitting here,
waiting for you to walk through that door,
from eight months of work.

You've worked hard, Darling,
Your camera is worn out,
so are your coat and boots.

The battlefield was horrifying,
but you're satisfied,
because you've taken the shots,
of the true human emotions,
of horror and torture,
of hope and survival,
of life.

Darling, I'll sit here and wait for you,
because you'll return home,
with your warmth,
so that this house will be cold no more.

Shades of Grey

2010-03-11T20:36:00.008+08:00

If the sun rises from the horizon,
I’ll thank God for its beauty.
If the sun sets into the horizon,
I’ll thank God for the Night’s beauty.

If I see a solitary star in the darkness,
I’ll thank God that I can see it.
If I see a million stars in the darkness,
I’ll thank God for taking my breath away.

If I see happiness in the eyes of people,
I’ll thank God for giving them love.
If I see sadness in the eyes of people,
I’ll thank God for giving them life.

Written during the quiet moments after completing Moral test, before the clock striked 1.50pm for the test papers to be collected.

Promising Miracles

2009-12-31T20:52:00.004+08:00

"David, what is that?"

I looked at the little boy holding my hand. He had his index finger pointed high up to the sky in front of him. I followed his gaze and looked up at the sky to see what he was so curious about. Then I smiled.

"Ah, those are fireworks, Henry."

"Fireworks?" Henry's eyes turned to me. Those bright blue eyes were filled with wonder. "What are fireworks, David?"

I looked back at the colourful display of explosions in the starless night sky. One stroke of light shot up to the sky, aiming to reach beyond the Earth's atmosphere, only to stop miles from it and explode into thousands of little coloured sparks, much to the observers' amusement. Then, the sparks would rain down onto the earth as its magnificent glory fades into the air.

"Fireworks are..." The little boy with rosy cheeks turned to look up at me, waiting for me to continue.

"Fireworks, Henry, are hope."

"Hope?"

"Yes, hope. Hope for a wonderful beginning." I answered. "And do you see those little sparks falling down after the lights explode in the sky?"

Henry nodded enthusiastically.

"Those sparks will bless us with miracles."

"Will we get miracles, David?"

"Yes we will, Henry. Yes, we will."

"We'll go home?"

"We will definitely go home."

His eyes shone with joy and he jumped up and down with glee. I laughed and hoisted him up onto my shoulders. I ran us down the hill with Henry laughing and my rucksack, dirty and worn out from war, bouncing against my back.

"We get miracles! We going home! Yay!!!" Henry screamed at the top of his lungs.

I'm a miracle to this lost boy. And he's a miracle to a lonely soldier like me.
Yes, one more miracle is what we both need. And a miracle is what we'll get.

"Happy New Year, Henry!"

Light at the End of the Tunnel

2009-12-31T18:21:00.008+08:00

There were writings on the faded grey walls of the tunnel. Among the many beautiful graffiti splattered on these rough, concrete walls were verses of poetry, confessions of love and life-long promises.

A flashlight is shone onto the walls as a pair of eyes surveyed every crack, every colour and every word. Gentle fingers grazed the dirt on the walls to feel the thick paint and engraved marks. They followed the arch of every alphabet and curve of every heart painted.

Bare feet walked through the long tunnel from one end to the other while those emerald green eyes continued to search the walls. The eyes searched for something carved into these walls since before the mysterious Syticia vanishings. Long before Arrow's vanishing and discovered death.

The footsteps stopped under a light hanging from the tunnel's ceiling; the only light in the tunnel which had broken. The glass pieces from the smashed bulb still lay on the ground, now under the bare feet. But the feet felt no pain; only the heart did.

A hand points the flashlight to the wall once again. The emerald green eyes, now glistened with tears, lifted their gaze to where a promise was engraved. Fingers reached out as bare feet shedding little droplets of blood stepped up to the wall. A small smile touched upon soft lips as fingertips caressed the words once carved by a blood-stained knife.

The clatter of the flashlight hitting the ground is soon followed by echoes of soft sobs. Drops of tears landed beside the flashlight, and some upon it. Lips parted to allow a whisper of a name to escape.

Hidden memories resurfaced and long-lost promises are found from the engraved words which held so much meaning to the heart. To two hearts. To a hundred hearts.

"For love and tomorrow."

Close Your Eyes

2009-12-27T14:54:00.004+08:00

Oh little dreamer,
Don't you see all that is beautiful?
Open your eyes and see the world around you.

Once in a lifetime,
The fields will open up to you,
And the wonders of this world will bloom again.

For all this time,
I stand here watching out for you,
You held my hands and whispered love to me.

Oh little dreamer,
Look beyond the golden skies,
There are a hundred thousand stars shining brightly for you.

Tonight I Shall Sleep

2009-09-22T20:39:00.002+08:00

A loud explosion breaks the silence of the night. My head turns to look out the small window but the darkness of the night shielded the source of the explosion.

I turned back to my reflection in the mirror. A girl with messy black hair and dark eyes to match stared back at me. She had her long fingers with dark pink nails against her pale lips. Shock and a little fear were written in my reflection's eyes.

I jumped at the sound of a car alarm ringing loud and clear from nine floors below this apartment of mine. The urgency of the car alarm continued to sound for another ten seconds before silence takes its place again.

I urge my feet to cross the wooden floor towards my single sized bed and huddle under my thin blanket. I draw the blanket my mother had sewn for me up to my shivering shoulders. I sit wrapping my arms around my knees, pulling up the blanket every time it falls off my shoulders.

A flash of lightning strikes across the sky from outside my window, as if it had broken the night sky into two. I quickly cover my ears with my hands, waiting for the loud clap of thunder which would soon follow.

I let out a soft whimper and close my eyes as the thunder lingers on for a few long seconds. Once the thunder had passed, I lie on my back and rest my head against the soft feather pillow.

My eyes would not close, depriving me of my sleep. I stare at the ceiling above me and listen hard to the usual sounds of the night:

Footsteps running along the corridor outside my apartment,
A shriek and then another, followed by a squeal of laughter,
Loud male voices echoing off the walls, saying words unintelligible to my ears,
The jingling of house keys opening the many locks on the door which would then be slammed hard against the door frame,
A tap turns on and sounds of flowing water is mixed with the groaning of the pipes behind the sink,
Continuous coughing from a man probably suffering from a throat disease,
And the howling of the wind that threatens to shatter my window.

Tonight I shall sleep...

Look Me In The Eyes

2009-09-11T22:02:00.007+08:00

She looked over his shoulder and stared at one of the many tall trees draped with yellow Christmas lights. Her eyes looked hard at the light fall of snow on every branch of the tree and at every yellow light till her eyes started to go out of focus.

Anything, she would look at anything and everything but his eyes. She can't look into them now, not anytime soon. Those grey eyes would see through her, right down to her very soul.

I can't look into your eyes, because you'll see the sadness in mine.

"Look at me." He said softly.

She slowly tore her gaze away from the tree that had now carried a thicker layer of snow and settled at looking at his lips.

"Look at me." He repeated, this time more sternly.

She let her eyes flicker to his for just a moment, before looking away again.

This is ridiculous.

"This is ridiculous." He said, just as if he had read her mind. He was feeling exasperated, she could tell.

"Look me in the eyes." He tilted her chin so that she had no choice but to look into those dreamy, grey eyes of his.

She closed her eyes, bracing herself and opened them to meet his eyes again. He held her gaze captive and she knew that he would be able to see it all. All the sadness she had kept from him, locked away at the bottom of her heart...just so that he wouldn't be burdened by her thoughts.

His expression changed, his eyes soften and his grip on her chin loosens.

He knows.

She jerked her head away from him and took a step back. Her gaze stayed fixed upon the path leading deeper into the garden as she said, "It doesn't matter anymore."

"Of course it does. Why didn't you tell me earlier?" He asked the question she had hoped he wouldn't but had always knew he would.

She gave him the answer she had long prepared, "Because I was waiting for you to tell me yourself."

"But I wouldn't know what you were thinking! I wasn't sure if I should tell you!" His exasperation increased.

"The same goes for me." She replied in a clipped voice.

Tears were starting to form at the corner of her eyes.

This is ridiculous

She took off down the winding path where fir and pine trees heavy with snow were flanked on either side. Snowflakes rested upon her hair and shoulders as she briskly walked away from the man who was calling her name.

Her fingers wiped away the tears from her eyes before they could form streaks upon her face. He must not see her tears for it will only increase the pain and guilt now etched in his heart.

She reached what she thought must be the centre of the garden. A bench stood freezing cold with only the little warmth from the street lamp beside it in the middle of the wide, snow covered ground. Trees lined the circumference of the open area, leaving no openings except for one other path north of where she stood.

Her feet started to walk across towards the one other path but something warm bumped her hard in the back. A pair of strong arms encircled her and held hers locked limply at her sides.

He held her tightly against him, afraid of letting go. Losing her once was enough, he can't lose her again.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into her ear.

Missed You

2009-08-23T18:27:00.005+08:00

Their eyes met from across the street.
The piercing gaze of her blue eyes,
they seemed startled.

He opened his mouth to speak,
but she turned and ran,
and so he ran after her.

He didn't know why,
he didn't know how,
but she was running,
and he was chasing.

It was as if she was a magnet,
and he was pulled towards her,
against his will,
or perhaps not.

The girl he chased,
he didn't know her,
he had never seen her before,
yet he chased her.

She was running faster and faster,
away from him.
He doubted she knew him either,
yet she was running.

Inspired by 'Amigo-SHINee', the music video

9095

2009-08-17T22:11:00.000+08:00

The manager guides us,
"This way",
Turning on the light on the long hallway,
"Red door to the right".

The noise that echoes throughout the long hallway,
"Have we met before?"
The rusted angel's wings,
"The blue door to the left of the red"

The destroyed revolving door,
The artificial flowers on the floor,
I wait on this chair,
"Where are you going?"

Dewdrops on your neck,
The whispers in the air,
Your lost voice,
"Who are you?"

The spider web which entangles and entangles like this, continuously,
The sandclock which started to go backwards to 9095,
Conceal your eyes,
"Don't open your eyes till I've count to seven".

Your hands on the cracked mirror,
Your hot breath,
The feel of nostalgia,
Eyes rising in the darkness,
Teardrops floating in the air,
The remains which slowly come to live in 9095.

Don't try to search for anything more,
I'll be by your side,
Once you have opened your eyes,
You can't return.

~Edited from the lyrics~

Lost Memories ~ Part 2

2009-08-04T18:48:00.003+08:00

Sitting in the dark shadows under the protection of the tall trees in the forest, Terra traced the engravings on her silver sword. She could not see the engraved words in the dark of the night, but she did not need to, for the words were engraved in her heart since the past two years.

She hugged the sword to her chest and a sad smile touched her lips. She leaned her head against the strong trunk of the big tree and held back the tears which were threatening to escape from her eyes.

“I miss you.” She whispered into the gentle night, for no one to hear but herself.

Her heart ached from the loneliness she was left with for two long years. She had first lost her brother, and now, she waited for the man who loved her heart and soul to return to her from the same battlefield where her brother lost his life.

Before Derrick had left with his army to help Terra’s father’s kingdom in the war, he had taken the sword Tyson had given to her and had it engraved.

The sword she held in her hands meant the world to her. Given by the ones she loves to protect her in their absence.

Derrick had promised to return and she promised to wait for him, no matter how long it would take. There were no news about him, but there were no news about him being in danger either, so she held onto hope that he would return.

Terra had soon fallen asleep while Light, her trusted stallion, stayed by her side.

She was woken from her sleep by Light’s grunts and stomping. She sensed someone’s presence and quickly drew her sword. She stood up and listened to her surroundings.

A rustle of leaves and a crunch of dry twigs sounded as she heard the stranger running towards her. She turned around and she saw the glisten of metal. She moved swiftly out of the way and slashed her sword through the attacker’s arm.

“Tell me, who are you?” She demanded.

Judging by his clothes and the dagger he had held, the attacker was nothing more than a midnight thief. She was thought as an easy target, a young lady alone in the middle of the night in a secluded forest, no surprise there.

The thief had yet to give up and attacked her once again, but failed as he was no match for her. His eyes darted to the stallion and he quickly moved to it, mounting it and taking its reins. Light kicked up its heels in protest and tried to escape from its rider.

The thief skilfully steered the stallion into a quick gallop towards the open fields. Terra broke into a run and chased after the thief. Her legs were not fast enough for Light’s strong hooves but she pursued the thief anyway.

On her pursuit, Terra tripped against one of the many rocks scattered on the wild lands and tumbled down the steep hill into darkness.

Lost Memories ~ Part 1

2009-08-04T18:20:00.006+08:00

Her eyelids slowly fluttered open and her lips parted slightly. Her eyes searched around her as she tried to focus on her surroundings. She swallowed, only to be reminded of her thirst that had surfaced a few hours ago. Her fingers felt the smooth, damped grass beneath her that had reduced the impact of her fall. She whispered a thank you to the overgrown grass in her gratitude towards it for saving her from further injuries.

Terra slowly pushed herself up from her position on the ground and squinted at the rays of sunlight breaking through dawn. In her upright position, she started to feel the throbbing pain at the back of her head as well as the sprain in her left ankle. Her fingers felt for the bump on her head and she grimaced at the pain the light pressure of her fingertips inflicted.

“Curse that midnight thief for this.” Terra grunted, struggling to rise on her good foot while supporting the back of her head from sudden movements that will amplify the pain even more.

She stood in the middle of a field of overgrown grass with trees lining the perimeter in the distance. Behind her was the steep slope of a low hill which was what she presumed she had stumbled upon.

The wind blew her dark brown hair around her as she stared off into the distance where her home was situated. Behind it, the sky painted a beautiful picture of colours that made her wish she could capture its beauty with her paintbrush.

“Oh, I’ll never be able to paint a beautiful sight like that. I’d only ruin the painting with my lack of talent.” Terra said to herself, smiling knowingly at the actual fact that she held no patience to sit down for hours just to hold a brush to paper. She had always been the adventurer, ready to embark on a new journey to discover the many wonders the world had to offer. The only times she would sit herself down and be the lady she was taught to be was in the presence of her parents and their many associates. There was no excuse to not carry out the duties she was born with and so, she accepted them with an open-heart.

She let out a heartfelt sigh and bent down to pick up her silver sword. She strapped the engraved sword to her waist and took in a deep breath before starting her long walk back home.

Everyone would go ballistic once they find her missing. She was not allowed to leave the perimeters of her home without a servant or a chaperone at any time of the day, much less at night. But it was not known to anyone, besides the servants, that every now and then, Terra would seek her midnight escapes once the moon is high up in the night sky and the household had turned in for the night. She would make it back safely to the confines of her bedroom before the crack of dawn and sleep till noon– much to her mother’s dismay –without anyone knowing her absence in the night.

This time though, she knew that luck was not on her side. By the time she makes it back on foot, it would be too late to cover the traces of her midnight escapade. Once her father finds out, he would do all that he can to stop her from leaving the premises and he would have more guards to keep watch on her. Terra did not need any more walls to keep her in from the world she so wishes to explore.

She had managed to walk the distance to the edge of the field where a gentle slope would lead her to the long forest trail that ends at the wooden bridge. Slowly, she carefully hiked up the slope and felt the tall grass tickle her sore ankle.

Through the many secret training and swordfights with her elder brother, Terra was strong and skilled enough to defend herself on her adventures she embarked on with her brother. But, Tyson died a little too early in battle, bringing with him Terra’s chances of freedom for adventure. Terra’s midnight escapades were one of Tyson’s many brilliant ideas and she wished to continue living the thrill of it to remain as close as she could to what was left of her brother, even if every minute of it brings waves of sadness over her.

Terra let out a small cry when her left foot kicked a rock upon reaching the top of the slope. The pain sent tremors up her leg and she bit her lip to hold back the pain. Her sore feet were exhausted from the walk and she feared her sprained ankle would not be able to take her far on the forest trail. She considered waiting out there for the search party she knew her parents would send out once they have discovered her absence, but her pride would not let her. She would achieve satisfaction if she managed to make it all the way back on foot before the search party arrives. And so, her stubbornness gave her strength to continue her journey which would not have been such a long one if her beloved Light had not gone on its own midnight escape.

Sounds of a horse’s gallop broke the silence in the forest. Terra stopped and looked into the distance to see a man riding his horse coming her way on the forest trail. The man pulled at his horse’s reins and climbed off his horse. He rushed over to her and took her by the shoulders. With a worried expression on his face, he asked, “Terra, are you alright? Are you hurt?”

She stared at him with a blank look and took a step back. “Who are you?”

Derrick did not expect that response, but he swiftly recovered, saying “Very funny, Terra. It seems to me that you are perfectly fine. Now, let’s get you home. I think we’ll still be able to make it back without you getting caught.”

He reached for her hand but she quickly pulled it back.

“How dare you speak to me in such informal manner? I demand to know who you are and who had sent you to look for me.” Terra spoke with a tone of high command.

Derrick was taken aback by the sudden change of tone in Terra’s voice. She had not spoken to him in that manner since the first day they had met. She did not seem to be pretending now as he had thought she was just a moment ago. He knew when she was lying or when she was telling the truth, not because she was a bad actress, but because he saw through her. Derrick knew her better than she did herself.

“So, why is she speaking to me as if she doesn’t know me?” He thought. He studied her for a moment before answering in the same tone she had used before, “I daresay I can speak to you in such manner because I am your fiancé, Prince Derrick Courtly of Cornelia.”

“M-my fiancée?” Terra stammered, shocked at the newfound revelation of both his relationship to her as well as his position as the heir to the throne of his kingdom. Her father had once mentioned to her about the old king of Cornelia who had only one son as his sole heir to the throne. If the man standing before her is indeed the prince as he claimed to be, then that would explain their engagement –to unite both kingdoms for reasons that revolve around the value of gold.

The kingdom of Cornelia and the kingdom of Tyrissus are strong and prosperous kingdoms that rule over much land. By having a union between both kingdoms through marriage will bring great fortune to both kings and their people. It must have been a dream the two kings have been planning all along.

But, much to her annoyance was the fact that she was not informed of this engagement and that the prince had seemed such an arrogant man to claim her as his bride and dropping all formalities even before she had agreed in giving her hand in marriage.

“This is...but I...” Terra spluttered. She tried to calm down and reminded herself of her status. A princess does not splutter, stammer or do anything in the like. She regained her composure and carefully composed her words, “I am sorry, Your Grace, for my impertinence. I did not recognise you or your status and was not informed of your visit in our kingdom.”

Derek looked at her strangely and she wondered about the man. Was he telling the truth? She had no assurance that he was indeed the prince of Cornelia. But, even if he is, how had he known her identity when they have never met? And most importantly, how had he come to find her here and why?

Before she could question him, he looked at her seriously and asked, “Terra, do you really not know who I am?”

A look of confusion crossed her beautiful face as she slowly answered, “I’m sorry, Your Grace, but I do not think that we have met before today.”

“What happened to you, Terra?” Derrick asked softly, his fist clenched at his sides.

“I’m afraid I do not understand, Your Grace. And, I’d prefer it if you would address me as Princess Terra Fawn. Even though we are said to be engaged, I wish to keep the formalities until I am fully informed of this matter by my father.”

The man seemed to not have heard her. He stared into her dark brown eyes and searched her soul, as if he was finding something that was lost within her. Terra grew uncomfortable by his stare.

“Something’s wrong...you must have injured your head.” Derrick placed his hand at the back of her head. She shoved it away and backed a few steps from him.

“How dare you? I must say, there is certainly something wrong with you.” She exclaimed, shock written on her face.

“We have to get you back at once. Please come with me, Terra.”

“I refuse to follow a man whom I have not met before. Unless you can provide me evidence that I should know you, do not even think that I would seek help from you. I am very much capable in making my own way back, thank you.”

Derrick sighed. Even though she did not remember him for reasons unknown to him, she was definitely the Terra he knows –stubborn and forever difficult.

His eyes landed upon Terra’s sword and he said, “Draw your sword and read its engravings.”

“The engravings...?” She reached for her sword and drew it out. She knew her sword was engraved and had many times read those engraved words again and again. But, for some reason, she couldn’t remember what those engravings were.

She held her sword in her hand and ran her fingers lightly over the engravings as she had always done. Her eyes read the familiar words as she whispered them, “Let my strength stay with you. Forever yours, Derrick.”

She stared in disbelieve as it occurred to her that she really did know the man. And not just as mere acquaintances...but much more. How could she not remember anything about the man? Here he stood before her, with his name engraved into her beloved sword for reasons she failed to remember, and yet, she had no recollection of ever knowing him.

“Do you believe me now? Do you...remember who I am?”

Terra looked at him apologetically and shook her head.

His face fell and his jaw tighten. His intense gaze pierced through her again as he said, “Please let me take you back to the palace, immediately.”

She was now convinced that she had known the man, and though she could not understand why she had no memory of him, Terra felt that she had to trust him. He did not seem to take no for an answer and though she had said that she was capable in returning home on her own, a ride on a strong stallion seemed to be a better option.

Derrick held out his hand for her and she took it without a word. He lifted her up with strong arms onto his mighty Archer and mounted it behind her. He took the reins and with a command, Archer raced through the forest.

The strong winds blew passed the prince and princess as the view of the forest faded into a blur green on either side of them. The prince’s warmth around her felt strangely comforting and familiar to Terra. She listened to his steady breathing that matched hers and wondered what kind of man he is.

“What happened to you last night?” Derrick’s deep voice interrupted her thoughts.

“There was a midnight thief.” She answered.

I'm not very confident about this piece, especially since I'm not even familiar with the titles of those who lived in that era. But, the idea was there and it's hard to not try writing something that had been kept in some part of my mind. It's a cliche story, I'm afraid...but its a story anyway.

"Let My Tears Fall."

2009-07-18T22:01:00.003+08:00

"No, I won't let you shed anymore tears." He brushed away the stream of tears from my cheeks. "I promised to protect you, and I'll keep that promise."

"There's only so much you can do. You won't be able to protect me for long." It's the truth we both have to face. If only he would accept it, things would be easier.

"This is not the end. There has to be a way to keep you alive." He pressed on, refusing to give up hope.

I shook my head and looked into his eyes. Those dark eyes had seen right through my soul ever since the first time we met. He knew me, and I knew him.

“Please...let me go.” I whispered.

“How can I?” He held me tightly against him. “I would never forgive myself if I ever did.”

Tears continued to spill over my cheeks as I said, “You’ll be happier that way. Find someone new, move on in life...forget me.”

“Forget you?” He looked into my eyes, the intensity of his gaze held mine captive. “How can I ever forget you? It’s impossible for anyone to replace you in my heart.”

“David...”

“You’re my everything, Mia. Can’t you understand that I won’t ever let you go, no matter what happens?”

“David, I’m going to die! There’s nothing neither you nor I can do about it.”

A shadow passed over his eyes and he looked away. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes, but he held them back.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. “I’m sorry that this has to happen.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault.” He closed his hands around mine, then said softly, “Just please, let me stay with you...till the end.”

Staying with me will only tear him apart. I don’t want him to see me like this any longer. But, am I allowed to be selfish for this one last time? Can I have him by my side despite knowing the pain I would cause him?

“It’s what I want, Mia.” And that was all he needed to say to make up my mind.

I smiled and gave him a nod. He held me in his arms for the last time before leaning down to kiss me on the lips.

I turned to pick up the dagger lying on the ground beside me and held it before him. He stared at it in a moment of hesitation then swallowed hard.

“It’s going to be alright.” I said, as confident as possible, reassuring the both of us.

His fingers slowly closed around the dagger and he casted me one last look.

I gave him a brave smile and closed my eyes, ignoring the tremor of fear running through me.

Then, in a matter of seconds, I felt the stab of cold metal through my heart. Blood flowed from the wound and the pain engulfed me. I fell forward into David’s arms and let his warmth run through me.

It was finally over.

I smiled as drops of tears landed on my cheek, flowing with mine.

“I love you.”

Because It's You

2009-07-18T14:52:00.003+08:00

She saw him at a distance,
Recognising immediately his familiar figure,
Then, it was as if he could feel her presence,
He looked up and her heart skipped a beat.

In an instant, she was in his arms,
She felt his warmth and held him tighter,
Looking into his deep brown eyes,
She felt her breath taken away.

All those days without him,
Missing the sound of his voice,
Missing the feel of his touch,
and his smile which melts her heart.

Every day and every night,
Her mind is filled with thoughts of him,
Smiling as she thought of the moments they shared,
and of the love he's given to her.

She thinks back to the last few weeks,
to all the sweet, heart stopping moments,
to all the unexpected, spontaneous occasions,
She wishes that those moments would stay forever.

Because of what he made her feel,
Because of what he said to her,
Because of what he gave her,
She loves him too.

Through My Blood

2009-07-11T15:58:00.002+08:00

The words you say pierce my heart,
Like a thousand shards of venom.
You don't know how those words has changed me,
Not for the better, but for the worse.

I've had enough of the pain you've put me through.
Every time I think I've gone numb,
You had to prove to me that I haven't,
and let the venom flow through me once again.

The tears I've shed in my life,
They were all because of you.
Not for you, but by you.

Even if I tried to put my feelings and your actions into words,
They wouldn't be enough to describe the pain you've cursed me with.
No one would understand,
For they don't have my life.

I can imagine life better without you.
What difference would it make if you were never here,
Since your presence now is like an absence.
But, even with that absense,
You're still able to leave many scars in my life.

I'll never forgive you for taking a part of my life away,
Those moments in life since childhood,
that should have happened to me,
is now lost forever, never to return.

Now that they've never happened to me,
I'll never know,
how it feels to be loved by you.

I wish I never knew you.
I wish she never loved you.
It doesn't matter if I never existed,
as long as I don't have to thank you for it.

No matter how many times she tries to convince me,
that you love me,
I won't believe it.
For love isn't shown that way.

She tells me that it isn't your fault,
that you couldn't express your love.
Because of what happened to you before,
But, that's just an excuse.

I believe that no matter what,
one would be able to express their love,
as long as you truly love that person.
You don't need to know how,
For every human is born with love.

Because of your damned past,
you've cursed mine.
Knowing that a life without love was terrible,
you made me live that life as well.

What have I ever done to you, but exist?
Even then, it was not my fault.
If you do not love me,
don't make me love you.

She loves you,
But I do not.

Just Us Two

2009-07-04T16:03:00.004+08:00

Gazing into those brown eyes,
You mesmerise me,
Drawing me deeper into your mind,
Bringing our hearts closer to one another.

Your smile touches my heart,
And oh, how fast my heart beats,
Whenever our hands meet,
I can't help but smile at your touch.

The silence between us,
The unspoken thoughts,
They don't matter anymore,
Just as long as you are by my side.

I want to freeze in time,
with you holding me in your arms,
so that we can stay this way...forever.

Day by Day

2009-07-03T17:41:00.001+08:00

~Inspired by the lyrics~

Every time we pass each other on the streets,
You act like you didn’t see me,
and go the way you were walking to.

I always wondered if you even saw me,
if you even remember me.
I couldn’t believe that you are able to erase all the beautiful memories we had shared,
because I can’t.

Your face,
your laugh,
your touch,
they haunt me every day.

Every time I keep thinking about our memories,
I felt the need to go look for you secretly.

Anxiety overwhelmed me as I couldn’t see you nor talk to you.
I spent long sleepless nights just thinking about you,
trying my hardest to forget you,
but I failed to.

Haru Haru

2009-07-02T21:29:00.000+08:00

~Inspired by the MV~

I saw her, talking to him.
Through the side view mirror of my beat up car, I watched them.

He took her hand with a worried expression on his face.
She looked up at him as he pushed back her long, black hair.
She said something to him once again, words I couldn’t hear.
Words I’m probably not supposed to hear.

She turned to leave.
He stood there on the pavement, staring at her as she walked away.

I got out of my car.
Thinking about the reason why I followed her.
Thinking about the reason why she made him follow her.
Thinking about the reason why my best friend was holding the hand of the girl I love.

She told me that she had no longer felt the same passion and love she had once felt between us.
She told me she was sorry.

But, there she was, talking and holding hands with my best friend,
Going to places she and I used to go to,
Sitting in his car for hours doing nothing but talk about everything.
Like the way we used to do.

I thought I could live without her.
I thought I could survive the fact that she’s with my best friend.
But, I realized that I am nothing without her.
I wanted her forgiveness for whatever it was that I did wrong.
I wanted her love back from wherever it was lost to.
I wanted to be with her forever, because I know that we can.

Once Again

2009-06-29T20:12:00.001+08:00

This feeling that I've been longing to have once again,
The tremor within me that I've been waiting to resurface,
I think it has returned to me once more.

The insecure and unsure side inside of me,
Had suppressed the emotions in my beating heart.
But, because of you,
I think I can learn to love again.

You gave me the confidence,
To trust once again,
To love once again,
To be happy once again.

Captivated

2009-06-28T10:06:00.006+08:00

She was lost in a snowy night.
In her hands, the snow...was red.

Don't look into his red eyes.
He'll show you a sweet dream,
and capture you.

He warned her,
but she didn't listen.
Now, she'll pay,
with her blood.

He held her close,
Whispering her name.
His hands stained with blood.
Her blood.

He stole her soul.
Took her life away.
Her lifeless body...her blood,
Will always be a scar in his memory.

She's now a wandering spirit.
Lurking in the shadows.
Watching him...her lover,
Her murderer.

He walks alone down the quiet street.
The wind blows.
A chill up his spine.
He knows...he's not alone.

A sweet voice.
A young girl's voice.
A familiar voice.
It's her.
The lover he killed.

He closes his eyes.
He breathes in the scent of her spirit.
He whispers her name.

She stands before him.
Her lover...her murderer.
And places her ghost-like hands on his face.

The scent of her spirit is stronger.
He feels ice on his face.
But he keeps his eyes closed.

He wasn't afraid.
For he had warned her,
that he'll kill her,
If she loved him.

He knew she loved him.
He knew he'll kill her.
But even then, he continued to love her.
And capture her...into his world.

She couldn't decide.
Her heart wouldn't let her.
(If she still had a heart in that lifeless form)

She wanted to take his life away.
The way he did to hers.
But, even after death,
She still loves him.

She knew it was her fault.
She knew he would kill her.
But she had loved him,
Because he loved her.

Those Words...

2009-06-26T20:34:00.007+08:00

With wind-blown hair she walked down the quiet street.
In her hands, she held a piece of folded paper.
Every now and then, she would read the written words.
And smile a smile that reached her eyes.

They were words that meant nothing but everything to her.
Written words that meant the same as the unspoken words in her heart.
Words that baffled her to the very extent that she wonders.
Wonders what her heart is trying to tell her.

She was afraid of making the same mistakes.
Thinking that she would let those words down.
She was afraid of being hurt.
But also of hurting the person who had said those words.

Try as she might to shake away those doubtful thoughts,
She can't help thinking that she's confusing her feelings,
Just the way he had said in those words.
But, just like the words written after that, she feels the same.

She closes her eyes and holds those words to her heart.
Maybe time will help her know the answer.
Maybe he will make her feelings clearer,
Because he meant something to her.

Darkness Eyes ~ Prologue (2)

2009-06-13T16:07:00.003+08:00

Colin Danson~

Slowly, I forced my eyes to open. My eyelids felt much too heavy, as if there were a ton of bricks hanging on each of my eyes.

Colin, you have to wake up. You cannot sleep forever. You must not...die. There’s a great life waiting ahead of you. You must not miss out on this life. You must not leave everyone else behind. You just must not give up.

I know I cannot leave them. My parents and my brother will be crushed if I died. They need me. I cannot let my mother cry for me again. And father, hell, I’ve never seen him shed a single tear-I don’t wish to. Connor, my little brother of a year difference and my best friend, I don’t think I’ve ever told him that I love him.

Once I wake up, I will tell him that, even if he’s going to punch me and make a face of disgust at my sudden affection.

Oh, the things that a man can think of when he’s hanging between life and death. Never would I have dreamed of being affectionate to my family or anyone else for that matter.

After all those years of studies and that hope of meeting a girl who can open my closed heart, to die now would be such a waste since I haven’t accomplished much yet.

I must not die.

Once again, I tried to lift my eyelids open. I failed again.

I tried to lift my fingers...fine, just one finger-the little one...alright, just wiggle it...damn it, just move something!

I have not been able to move nor feel anything, neither have I seen anything else but the darkness in my mind.

And in that darkness, I am holding on and never letting go of this thread of life. I know that if, even for just a second, I let go of my hold on this thread, I’ll be gone forever…falling into eternal darkness.

But, it is tiring holding onto life. Funny that I’m thought to be lying on a bed, sleeping. I should be fully rejuvenated and more energised that any other man with all these sleep. On the contrary, it is more tiring than being awake.

The problem is, it’s so dark in here that I can’t even tell if I am asleep and dreaming, or awake and thinking. Everything seems the same to me every day. Being in this state is really agonizing and it can really affect one’s mentality. Blame it on the darkness; now I understand why the sun existed.

I can’t even remember how light looks like, well…just barely. It’s ironic how one can actually miss the sight of light when you have it in every waking moment of your life. The moment I’ll be able to see light again will probably happen if I get myself out of this state or if I...well, die. People say that we will see a white light when we die, but I don’t want that light to heaven be the first light I see. I want to see the hospital fluorescent lights. Not that they’re attractive or anything, just simply because I’ll know that I’m alive.

Well, I’m not dead now actually. I’m still alive, immobile but alive. Alive and paralysed, blind, robbed of all my senses except sound. I can’t feel nor touch anything. It’s as if my body has gone numb.

I can’t feel my father’s hands when he tells me that he’s holding my hand the way he wants me to hold on to life. I can’t feel my mother’s kiss on my forehead but I could hear the sound of her lips. Neither could I feel the drops of her tears on my face, just the sounds of her sobs.

I have been without my senses in this darkness for six months now. I know not because I’ve counted. It wouldn’t be possible to count the seconds and the number of days without even knowing if it is day or night, or if an hour has already passed. Hell, it does not even feel like six months, it feels like a century.

It’s all thanks to Connor. He’s been updating me every day about everything, such as the date. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t know what has happened while I am in this state. I would wake up, if I wake up, not knowing what to do, like time has left me where I was six months ago.

Connor will tell me what father had said or what mother had burned in the kitchen or which guy in the neighbourhood who got arrested...the usual happenings in our life.

I heard the softest squeak and a click of the door to my private room in the hospital. If I could laugh, I would have. I always found it amusing when everyone who comes to visit me will always try their best to open and close the door as softly as they could. It was as if they were afraid of intruding my sleep and waking me up. But, that’s what they want, what I want...for me to wake up, isn’t it?

Footsteps neared my bed. They were not too light, not too heavy, but the soles of the shoes were dragging just a little. Connor...it has to be him.

“Hey, bro...”

Yeah, I’m right. After listening to every single sound for six months, I can actually differentiate practically everything. It’s like being a blind person (although, in a way, I am one now); my other senses (the ones available only-such as sound) are heightened. My sense of hearing is much sharper than before. I listened hard to all sounds because they were the only thing connecting me to the real world, outside the realm of darkness in my mind.

Connor sat in the chair beside my bed and let out a sigh. It was a very small sigh...almost like he was exhaling. Ordinary people might not have heard it but because of my sharpened sense of hearing, I heard it.

Ha...ordinary people. What am I? An alien?

“Alright, I’m here to report the latest news.” He chuckled. “I feel like I’m your newscaster.” He let out that almost soundless sigh again.

“Err...let’s see. There was a robbery and a murder...” He paused. “Bro, I don’t think you’re interested in the national news.”

He’s read my mind. Connor knows me so well.

“What else would probably interest you?” He thought for a while.

“Oh! The team lost.” He said it matter-of-factly. Then, he quickly added, “Not our team, the state’s team. Our team would never lose like that. Football is our addiction; we don’t lose in such a lame way.”

Connor used to play for the high school’s football team and he’s very proud of it.

He was silent for a few long moments before he finally spoke in a soft voice. “I really hope I’m not going mad when I’m being this dutiful brother of yours who comes in everyday, telling you everything that is nothing, thinking that you can hear me...hear all of us.”

But, I can.

“Are you going to snap out of this freaking sleep of yours anytime soon? It’s been six months and...” He paused to think. “...and twenty one days since that accident. You’ve slept long enough, Colin!” Connor’s voice was raised in his sudden outburst of anger or probably frustration.

Ah...six months and twenty one days. Man, that is long; has it really been twenty one days since the last time I found out that I’ve missed half a year of my life?

“Stop staying in this ridiculous hibernation, Colin! You’re not an animal, you don’t need to! It’s not even winter!” Connor exploded. “You’ve slept away half a year and while you are sleeping, the rest of us...we’ve been so exhausted!”

It’s about time that Connor finally loses his temper. He’s been keeping his frustrations and anger to himself for such a long time now. I’ve been waiting for him to release them...even if it means to me, since I am the cause of his outrage.

“I don’t mean to say that you’ve been a burden to all of us. It’s just that...” He sighed again, except this time he didn’t bother to hide it.

“When you wake up, Colin, you’re not going to sleep ever again.”

Yeah, right, like that’ll happen.

I heard him shift in his seat and the ruffling sounds of cloth, probably Connor leaning his elbows against my bed.

“Colin, you’ve got to get out of this coma. We need you. We’re waiting for you. We’re still not losing hope. The doctor said that you’ll come ‘round someday. Even if it’ll take years, we’ll still wait for you but, if you don’t want to wake up, you’ll stay asleep forever.” His voice dropped a volume lower. “The doctor also said that you’ll weaken if you don’t wake up soon. If you take too long, you might...” He took a deep breath, as if saying the last word was very hard for him. “...you might die.”

Damn it, Connor. I’m trying as hard as I can, it’s not like I don’t want to get out of this stupid coma. I’m just not able to...even if it means death.

“I’m sorry, bro. I shouldn’t have said all that.” I heard him push his chair back. “Just don’t give up. Colin Danson never gives up, I know you. It all depends on you, bro. Remember, we’ll wait for you.”

I heard his footsteps moving further away. Then, I heard the sweep of his feet as he turned back. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I’m going to Crystal Sanfree’s party in an hour’s time. You can’t believe it, can you? I can’t either. But, I’m going because the rest of the group are going and I can’t let them fend for themselves.” He chuckled. “Even though we’re already at the age of nineteen and I don’t think we need to care about our social status, the girls don’t see it that way.”

He walked towards the door and said over his shoulder, “By the way, Sera’s mother will be driving us there, so you don’t have to remind me about ‘no reckless driving!’. Colin, sometimes you can be so very much like mother.”

He opened the door while saying his goodbye and closed the door, softly again.

‘No reckless driving!’ Ha! I used to say that to Connor last time and so does mother but, why didn’t anyone tell that to robbers?

Well, a robber is a robber, so of course no one’s told him about reckless driving. Even if someone were to advise a robber, they would have told him something like ‘no robbing!’ No one would have thought about reckless driving.

If the robber himself thought about risks to reckless driving, then I wouldn’t be stuck in this coma.

Darkness Eyes ~ Prologue (1)

2009-06-13T15:56:00.003+08:00

Seraphiné Morpheus~

“Do you think they’ll have tortilla chips there?”

I turned around from the seat beside my mother, who was smiling as her hands smoothly steered the wheel. I gave a tug at my seatbelt as I leaned further around the seat to look at Jacque. “Is there ever a moment that you aren’t thinking about food?”

Lydia stifled a laugh from her position between Jacque and Connor. Connor let out a chuckle.

“Of course there is! I don’t think about food all the time.” Jacque protested.

“No, just most of the time.” Connor returned, causing Lydia to tremble with laughter and Jacque to give him an annoyed look.

I smiled at my friends. What a bunch of nuts they are, but I am happy to say that I am part of that nutty bunch.

Connor Danson’s got his father’s good looks and charms while his mother gave him the kind heart and the smile which always seems to reach the eyes. On the other hand, his wit and sarcasm that never fails to crack a smile on our faces was brought upon on his own through his seventeen years of life.

Lydia Chase tends to appear quiet when she has nothing to say but once she opens her mouth, she either causes one to double over with laughter or she points out very important facts that everyone else seems to have missed. The loudest thing about her is her laugh, which can be very contagious.

Jacque Sears too has a very contagious laugh, so put her and Lydia together, and you will be laughing even after you’re rolling on the floor, clutching your stomach in pain.

She is my best friend, Jacque I mean. We have known each other over ten years ago and we have been the best of friends ever since. She may not be every girl’s ideal best friend but she is mine. She is the biggest nut in our nutty bunch, and I meant it in a good way. She is always wacky and fun, but smart and considerate at times. And just by looking at her, we tend to laugh. We always seem to be laughing at her but it would have been with her if only she knew what we always laugh about-her facial expressions.

As for me, I have always had a matured mind and I tend to think too much. I would always think too deep into matters that are not meant to be thought for people at my age. When others are thinking about their high school major exam, I think about my career. When others are thinking about careers, I think about how my funeral would be. I would think about whether I would like to be buried in a coffin and decompose by time and the many gruesome creatures or to resist the burn of the fire through a cremation (although I probably would not feel anything since I will be dead, but one could never be sure about the whereabouts and condition one is in after death).

Mother would always scold me for harbouring such ‘deadly’ thoughts in my young mind.

“Even I haven’t planned my funeral yet, why should you even think about it?” She had said, one evening after I had voiced out my sudden thought.

“I don’t know. I just do, I suppose. I think about a lot of things.”

“You think too much.” Her voice dropped low as she patted the top of my head, as if she could banish all the habitual thinking out of my mind with just a brush of her hand.

She was right though, I do think too much. I know that everyone thinks all the time but it somehow feels like I think more than a normal person ought to. I think a lot about the unimportant things and tend to think deeper into very trivial matters.

Something must be a little wrong with my mind, I suppose. Probably a glitch or a missing piece in the brain, causing me to have a tendency to search for the missing piece by looking deep or thinking deep into almost everything.

Lydia claims that I see the world differently compared to others. Whether that was a good thing or not, she did not know.

“Maybe you’re special.” Jacque had once commented. But after a moment of thought, she remarked, “Or maybe you’re just weird.”

“Alright, here’s the plan. We’ll just simply say that we had each contributed our share into buying the present.” Jacque explained, coming up with one of her ridiculous ideas which sometimes seem to work.

“We can’t share the cost of a book.” Lydia retorted. “It’s much too cheap; four of us and one book-eight dollars per person?” She shook her head in disagreement.

“What’s wrong with eight dollars? I can buy two pairs of earrings with eight dollars!” Jacque protested.

“No, Lydia’s right. It’s much too cheap for a birthday gift, especially for someone like Crystal.” Connor made a face of dislike at the taste of Crystal’s name on his tongue. “I don’t even know why you bought her a book, Sera. What the hell do you expect her to do with it?”

I shrugged. “Read? The girl’s head is so empty; she ought to have something in there.” Connor rolled his eyes. “It was the first thing I saw when I stepped into the mall, alright? It’s a last minute present, I couldn’t be choosy.”

“Okay, fine. But, what are we going to do? Besides Sera, the rest of us don’t have a gift for Crystal and may I remind you what happened to Leila last time?”

All four of us groaned.

“What happened to Leila?” A curious look appeared on my mother’s face.

“She suffered a social breakdown...banished forever to the land of outcasts.” Lydia placed one hand on her heart and thrust the other forward dramatically.

The rest of us rolled our eyes.

“She forgot to bring Crystal her Sweet Sixteen present, so Crystal got mad.” I explained.

“That’s all? My goodness, you’re all quite mean, aren’t you?” Mother remarked with a teasing smile on her lips.

“Not all of us.” I replied.

“Only Crystal...” Jacque quipped.

A moment passed and Lydia started again, “So...what are we going to do about Crystal’s present?”

“Damn it! How could you guys forget her present?” I threw my hands up, knocking my fingers against the hood of the car.

The three of them shrugged.

I let out a sigh. They were always a bit absent-minded...or in Connor’s case, a never-may-care attitude.

“Oh, I know!” Jacque exclaimed, her eyes practically twinkling in the darkness inside the car. She unzipped her little black purse and shook out its contents. She rummaged through her many items, of which, were not necessary to be brought to a party. “Ah-ha! Found it!” She held up a small, transparent jewellery box for all to see.

“What is it?” Connor asked, dubiously.

“It’s a necklace, you idiot.” Jacque remarked, flipping the box open and taking a thin piece of something that resembled a necklace in her hands.

“How was I supposed to know? It looks nothing like the ones I bought for girls.”

Lydia rolled her eyes again.

Jacque held the necklace gingerly between her two fingers and dangled it in the air for closer inspection.

“That’s one ugly, tiny necklace.” Lydia commented. “What are you planning to do with it? Choke Crystal in the neck with it?”

Jacque shot her a look.

The necklace or to say, a choker was just a thin, silver piece which was too small for an average chain. That was just it, silver and thin; nothing special about it, nothing that will interest someone like Crystal, even if it is expensive.

“No. This…” Jacque placed the necklace back into its case. “…shall officially be Crystal’s present.” She grinned.

“That? Jac, even Sera’s dumb book looks more expensive.” Connor remarked, eyeing what seems like a worthless necklace.

I gave him a pointed look. He shrugged.

“It’s made of pure silver, Connor.” Jacque replied simply.

“So, it’s expensive?” I said it more of a statement than a question.

“Yup, my aunt gave it to me just a while ago before you picked me up. She wanted me to wear it to the party.” She faked a bawling. “I’ll never wear it, even if it’s made of pure silver or whatever.”

Connor crossed his arms behind his head and leaned against the back of the seat. “Ah...problem solved, we have Crystal’s present.”

“Crystal will hate it.” I said, after a moment or two.

“Even though it’s not fancy, she should know ‘expensive’ when she sees one.” Jacque threw her hands up. “I don’t care if she likes it or not. All I know is that it makes more sense for the three of us to share its cost than Sera’s book.”

They nodded.

Then, Lydia leaned forward. “We don’t actually have to pay for it, do we?” She gave a sheepish smile. “’Cause pure silver sounds expensive...”

“Hey, remind me again why we’re going to Crystal’s party when we don’t like her and don’t even have a decent present...well, until now.” Connor asked, in all his wit.

“Leila.” We three girls answered in unison.

“Right...” Connor nodded, but I could tell that he found it ridiculous. He wasn’t the type who cared about social status.

“So...Jacque, seriously, we don’t have to pay for it right?” Lydia popped the question out again.

“Of course you do! My aunt said it cost her half a thousand dollars!” Jacque exclaimed while straining to keep a straight face as Lydia gasped in horror.

“Jacque! Stop scaring her! I can see right through that twitch at the corners of your lips!” I laughed.

“Jac!” Lydia slapped her hard in the shoulder.

Jacque exploded in laughter, causing the rest of us to follow suit. Jacque’s laughter was terribly infectious.

Then, Lydia’s foot accidentally slammed onto Connor’s foot and she continuously stomped on it in her fits of laughter without realising the damage she was causing to Connor.

“OW! GODDAMNIT LYDIA!!!” Connor cursed loudly in his pain. “GET YOUR FREAKIN FOOT OFF MINE!”

Jacque and I exploded in more laughter. I squinted to see through the tears that had misted my eyes, but failed to do so.

And then, in the midst of our laughter, there was a scream I recognised as my mother’s.

And then, there was a loud, screeching sound that pierced through my ears.

And then, there was darkness.

Darkness Eyes ~ Preface

2009-06-13T15:30:00.006+08:00

Seraphiné Morpheus~

Do you know how sometimes, when you see absolute darkness but you know your eyes aren’t closed because you could still feel your eyelids blinking and your eyelashes gently brushing the skin of your finger when you bring it to your eye?

Well, if and when that actually happens, it’s usually when you’ve stepped into a really dark room (or fallen down into a pit hole or gotten stuck in a tunnel or etcetera…) and all you have to do is switch on the lights, then you’ll be right back where you were all along or at least know where you are, instead of being lost in some kind of surreal dream-like state (even though you know you’re not asleep).

Unfortunately, in my case, there isn’t a light switch, or even torchlight in my hand. And even if there really is a light switch, I wouldn’t know where to find it.

This is only because...I have no idea where I am.

Colin Danson~

I can’t remember how light looks like, well…just barely. It’s ironic how one can actually miss the sight of light when you have it in every waking moment of your life.

There’s only darkness in my mind. And, in that darkness, I’m holding on and never letting go of this single thread of life. I know that if, even for just a second, I let go of my hold on this thread, I’ll be gone forever…falling into eternal darkness.

Let The Darkness Begin…

Cop

2009-06-13T15:13:00.005+08:00

With quick steps, he crossed the dusty room and reached for the open window. His fingertips touched the rough edge of the window sill. He pushed himself up, hooking one leg and then the other over the window ledge. He looked down as his breath quickened by each second.

“You aren’t getting away!”

At the sound of the cop’s voice, Daniel looked over his shoulder and saw the cop nearing the doorway to the room. Daniel turned back and looked below him. Without another second of hesitation, he gripped the sides of the window and pushed himself forward. He leaped six feet down and landed on the opposite rooftop of an abandoned building.

Once his feet touched upon the concrete, Daniel started his sprint again. He ran across the open rooftop, aware of the footsteps which were hot on his heels. He turned to look at the cop who wore the expression that told him that he had no intention of giving up anytime soon.

Daniel searched frantically around him for an escape. But, he was running on a helipad and the only way out is down. To his far right was a stairway down but he wouldn’t be able to make it before the cop chasing him catches him.

Then, he skidded to a stop as he was just a few inches away from the edge. He quickly turned around to face the cop who had stopped a few feet away from him. In his hand, he held a gun which was aimed right at Daniel.

Daniel Falxon was trapped.

“Put your hands behind your head!” The cop ordered him.

He’s going to kill me. I know he is. Daniel was breathing hard and fast in his panic while the cop did not seem to be out of breath at all.

“I’m innocent! I’m innocent!” Daniel pleaded.

“I said, put your hands behind your head!” The cop repeated, louder this time.

Daniel’s breathing was even faster now. “I didn’t do anything! I swear! Please don’t kill me!”

“Just do as I say and you won’t get hurt!”

I don’t want to die. Daniel took a step back; the back of his heel touched the edge of the low wall.

“Don’t! You can’t escape! Just surrender, now!”

“I...” Daniel stopped as his mind clouded with fear, stopping him from thinking straight. He breathed harder and harder. The air around him felt thick.

Cleve Danvers, with his gun still aimed at Daniel, he watched his every move. He wouldn’t dare to jump. He wouldn’t, unless he’s crazy enough to think that he can survive a jump from the seventh floor.

Daniel was wide-eyed and panting, showing signs of panic. Cleve watched as he gripped the low wall behind him; his knuckles turning white. If he jumps, I’ll have to grab him, fast.

Then, Daniel reached into the back pocket of his jeans.

He’s going to take out a gun. Cleve’s reflexes kicked in and he steadied himself. He pulled the trigger.

A loud blast echoed in the rooftop. Blood from the gunshot in his right shoulder stained Daniel’s sleeve. The impact of the bullet caused him to fall backwards, tripping over the edge of the low wall.

Cleve’s eyes widen as Daniel fell over the edge. He ran forward, reaching out to grab Daniel’s arm before he could fall to the very end of his life. But he was too late, Daniel’s arm slipped from his grasp and he landed upon the open car park with a thud. Blood spilled onto the tar road, forming a puddle under Daniel’s dead body.

Cleve cursed. He did not intend to kill the guy, but only to injure him before he could pull out his gun and fire. He had miscalculated the chances of the guy falling as well as thedistance between them for him to grab Daniel in time. He had acted on impulse, thinking only of the risk in losing his life. It was a terrible mistake.

Thinking of the gun which could have been the weapon in ending Cleve’s life, he remembered seeing Daniel pull it out of his pocket right before he was shot. Where’s the gun?

He looked around him but there was no gun. It was possible that Daniel had not dropped it but had fallen with it. But, Cleve was very sure that he saw Daniel dropping it when he was shot. He looked at the ground to his left again and noticed a white object. He bent down to pick it up. In his hand, he held an inhaler. Cleve’s hands trembled as the discovery shook him to the very core of his soul.

Daniel had not been drawing out a gun, it was his inhaler. The guy was asthmatic and Cleve had shot him.

“I killed him.” The words left Cleve’s lips in barely a whisper.

Gunshots ~ Part 2

2008-09-08T19:56:00.002+08:00

Freya stared at the coffin that was slowly being lifted and placed into the ground.

Friends and family dressed in black stood beside her, crying as they thought of the tragic loss of their beloved son and friend.

A few days ago, after that devastating night, they acted like they sympathised her and offered to take care of the arrangements for the funeral themselves. But, it was clear to her that they harboured hatred towards her and thought of her as the one that was to be blamed for Seth’s death. The way they avoided looking her in the eyes and the venom in the words they spoke to her, only proved that she was right.

Freya could not be bothered with what they thought of her because they did not even try to understand her feelings. They did not understand the way her heart ached whenever she thought of that night when she had held Seth in her arms with his blood staining her hands and the smell of his blood still lingering there even after she had scrubbed them again and again. They did not and will not understand the piercing pain of the echoes of gunshots still ringing in her ears till this day. They did not understand the guilt buried in her heart and that little voice in her head that kept telling her that Seth’s death was because of her.

People only thought that she was a cold hearted person who could not care less about their precious Seth.

But there she was, standing there, staring at his coffin without shedding a single tear. Freya could not understand why either but maybe she had cried all the tears she had in the past few days and nights whenever she saw a picture of Seth or saw his things or remembered a place where they had shared a special moment together.

She stood there, motionless as she listened to the priest read out his prayers and the sobs of the women beside her. One by one, a stock of flower was placed on the coffin and one by one, the people left.

When it was about time that she should place the last flower which she held in her hand on his coffin, she took a deep breath and slowly walked nearer to his coffin. As she took each step, images of the past ran through her mind like a movie playing memories of the times she had shared with Seth. Memories of his laughter, his touch and his voice kept playing in her mind.

Once Freya was near enough, she crouched down and gently placed a stock of daisy-Seth’s favourite flower-onto his coffin. She did not move away but remained staring at his coffin as if she could see him through the thick wood.

She will never be able to run her fingers through his hair or smell his scent anymore. She will never be able to hear his teasing laugh or see the stupid looks he used to give her. She will never be able to laugh at the way he used to react whenever he was frustrated or hear him tell her that he loves her.

“Goodbye, Seth…forever,” Freya whispered as a teardrop landed on his coffin.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she remembered the words Seth used to say to her when he taught her how to survive in this world.

“Be strong, Freya, be strong always.”

Gunshots ~ Part 1

2008-09-08T19:38:00.004+08:00

“No! No! Please! No!’ She shook her head vigorously, pleading for him to stop. “Please stop. No. Don’t.” She cried weakly.

She squeezed her eyes shut as he continued to lick at her skin and rub his dirty hands all over her. He ignored her pleas and screams and even seemed to enjoy them.

She felt so weak and helpless. She felt like she wanted to die. She knew she wouldn’t be able to live with this nightmare haunting her over and over again for the rest of her life.

“Why can’t he just kill me instead?” She thought. “I’d rather die than have him lay himself on me. Oh god, please save me. Please just take me away from here. I beg of you.”

“Get away from her, you bastard!” A familiar voice shouted. He burst into the room and shoved the man away from her. With his weight lifted off of her, she scurried to a corner of the room. She hugged her knees to her bare chest and silently cried as she remained unaware of what was happening in front of her.

Seth punched the disgusting man hard in the face and took him down. He gave him blows in the stomach and jaw with all his might. The rogue tried to defend himself, but he was too weak and Seth was much stronger. He released all his anger through his punches, causing the man great pain till he finally knocked out.

Seth breathed heavily as he looked down at the disgusting pile of rubbish that stayed motionless on the ground. Then, he heard soft sounds of sobs behind him. He turned around to see the one he love, trembling and in tears in a corner.

He quickly ran to her and wrapped his jacket around her to see that her clothes were all torn and her face buried in her knees. The sight of her made his heart ache and all he wanted to do was to hold her in his arms and let her know that he’s right by her side.

He gently placed his hands on her shoulders to try to calm her down but once she felt his touch, she shrieked and pushed him away.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! Stay away from me!”

“Freya, it’s me, Seth. It’s only me.” He knelt down beside her and looked at her with tears in his eyes. “How could God let this happen to her?” He thought.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked at him. She burst into tears once more and fell into his arms. He hugged her tightly and stroked her hair to tell her that the nightmare was over and it was going to be alright.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, Freya.”

He let her continue to cry into his shirt as he stroked her long, black hair and listened to her sobs.

After a while, her sobs suddenly stopped when a sound of a bullet released from its gun echoed in the room. Then, everything was silent.

Freya lifted her head from Seth’s shoulder and looked up to see the disgusting man standing a few feet away from her, holding a gun in his hand. He smiled a sly smile as he looked at her.

She looked down and saw the back of Seth’s shirt stained with blood that was spilling to the ground. She screamed when she saw a bullet pierced through the middle of his back.

“Seth! Seth!” She faced him to see his eyes closed and his handsome face-a dead expression. “Seth! No! Seth!”

She heard a wicked laugh coming from the murderer and she glared at him with hatred in her eyes. He lifted his hand and pointed the gun at her. “Bye, bye, sweetheart.”

Right before he was able to pull the trigger, she spied Seth’s gun tucked in his jeans pocket. On a reflex action, she quickly pulled the gun out and pointed it at the man. She pulled the trigger and the bullet shot out at him a spilt second before he was able to pull his. She let out all her anger by continuously firing the bullets at him, just in case she missed. The impact shook her as she fired each bullet. He fell to the ground as the gun emptied its last bullet. She dropped the gun to the ground and breathed heavily. She turned her head to look at Seth once more but he remained motionless. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she hugged him tightly and screamed his name.